David McLean

Toro, John Deer and Lawnboy hate me. Mrs. Dave and I live on two acres in a zoning-averse village, because we can pretty much do what we want with our lawn. And what we want is lots of trees, ground cover and butterfly-enticing weeds. I mow meandering paths with a 15-year-old rider to comply with the town ordinance about mowing. We have enough trees and shrubs that I could do it naked and nobody would care. We like nature and dislike internal combustion.

So I was looking for some inspiration about public relations in a down economy and I came across this oh-so-corporate press release from Lawn Doctor. Evidently, the good doctor is as brilliant with direct mail as fescue.

From the company’s press release:
Leading Lawn Care Service Provider Modernizes Landscape of Marketing; Lawn Doctor uses research savvy to stretch advertising budget, reach niche customers

HOLMDEL, N.J., Nov. 10 /PRNewswire/ — U.S. companies are predicted to spend $176.9 billion on direct marketing in 2008, but with a sluggish economy, advertising executives are forced to make increasingly slashed budgets prove their worth. So how does a 41-year-old company efficiently use its advertising budget to reach target audiences?

Lawn Doctor, the nation’s leading expert and most recognized brand in the lawn care service industry, has created an award-winning direct marketing program which has been recognized by the Turf and Ornamental Communicators Association (TOCA) for “Best Direct Mail Campaign” and it was ranked fourteenth in earned media value by ClickZ among Fortune 500 companies. A combination of leadership, marketing and growth also lead to Lawn Doctor being ranked tenth among leading industry publication Lawn & Landscape’s Top 100.

The program… was designed to hone Lawn Doctor’s marketing strategies and tactics to resemble those of a Fortune 100 company, executed in a nimble way befitting a small to mid-sized company…

And so on…

So Lawn Doctor is telling the world how we’ve all been duped by their marketing. Talk about meta data. And so nimble!

Really, do we care? Okay, in fairness to some genuinely earnest professionals, they want to milk every opportunity for “earned media” through press releases. And I’ve probably done similarly self-congratulatory pap, myself, sometime in my career.

But in this economy, I can’t recommend that a client spend over $1000 on PR Newswire to thump their chest about being “savvy” about reaching “savvy” customers.

Granted a publication like Advertising Age or Lawn and Landscape might eat this up. And maybe they should, because that’s what they cover. But you can e-mail a news release to those two editors for free.

Wouldn’t it be better to tout the ways you’re leading Americans to choose more Earth-friendly lawn care options? Or, how to manage your property so it needs less lawn care? How about a press release on water conservation through drought resistant lawns?

Give people reasons to TRUST you.

With this press missive, Lawn Doctor’s target audience must be that newly designated demographic, “Louis XVers.” You’ll recall it was that French monarch who quipped, “After me, the deluge.”